Is your Boyfriend Gay?

I keep seeing these "Is your Husband Gay?" survey ads.

Which makes me think it "How did they know?"

Although the question would actually be "Is your Boyfriend Gay?"

More than a few times now I've dated guys that are either:

A) Bi and I don't know it until later.

or

B) I think he is Bi or straight up gay and he doesn't know it.

One type of guy I'm attracted to is the androgynous one or at least a bit on the feminine side.

First time it happened to me was about 18 years ago. He looked real tough. Had a mohawk and wore combat boots every day. But his face was real pretty, like a model.

He was the REALLY sensitive one in the relationship. I'd find scribblings on paper where he'd write my name with his last name over and over. He's sneak notes into my school work and books saying how he missed me and asking me what I wanted for lunch when I came home from class. He even got a key to my apartment (without my permission) and would wake me for school and make me coffee. He was driving my roommate nuts being there ALL of the time.

He was always very adamant about how I could never give him a blow job. There has GOT to be something going on with any guy that passes up oral sex!

We ended up breaking up because he smothered me all the time and became obsessive with me. He cried. He often cried.

Months later I got an Xmas card in the mail from his father that asked if he had a girlfriend OR BOYFRIEND and a big light bulb came on in my brain.

"Oooooh, that explains a lot of things!"

More recently I dated a guy who had this same tough guy and pretty face thing going on. He rode a motor cycle and lived in the country. He worked incredibly hard manual labor all day on the private property of a local lawyer. Sometimes when he'd come home from work he'd strip down naked outside before coming in. It was damn sexy.

Things that makes me think he is gay:

• All the girls he dates are either very tomboyish or are outright on the homely side. Most of them look like efeminite boys.

• His best friend is an older gay man.

• His boss appears to be gay to me as well. And he is certainly his "do boy". I often wondered if something was going on with them. They even hung out outside of work and ran "errands" for him on weekends.

• When we had sex it was because I initiated it. And when it happened it lasted all of moments with no foreplay. He seemed very inexperienced in bed with a female.

• While I had the hardest time getting him to have sex with me, he had anal sex toys and lube in the drawer right next to his bed. Surprisingly, he didn't want to have anal sex with me.

• He also had leather chaps in one of his drawers. Really.

So yeah, I'm convinced he is gay although I think he is in denial of it. I imagine him getting married and coming out after he "finds himself" at the age of 45.

I need to learn to spot these kinds of guys to stop wasting my time on them.