Knew it would happen, but not so soon.

So, Mr. When-I-save-up-enough-$-I'm-moving-in-with-you decides to text me out of the blue, after not hearing from him for 2 weeks to the day.

"Im sorry. i tweaked. I dont wanna be a jerk. I guess i should call you some time"

I replied that he should call right then. And he replied as fucking usual that he was "busy".

So what does "I tweaked" mean anyway?

If he is trying to say he weirded out about us getting serious and him moving in with me that's total bullshit.

We have had so many conversations in the past that was him saying, "you better not get scared, I'm not scared." and I confirmed that i wasn't either.

So I can just imagine why the sudden renewed interest.

Maybe it was the fact that it was just after Valentine's Day and his romantic weekend didn't go quite as planned.

Or maybe it was because my weekend was so good, and he couldn't stand hearing about it.

I could really do without feeling like I'm on a back burner on simmer while he forgets about the promises he's made me. I may not even answer the phone if calls at this point anyway.

In the meantime, I'll spent quality time with a sweet boy that actually cares about me.

So little meant the world.

I thanked him for spending so much time with me over the weekend.

He replied, "The pleasure was all mine darlin."

Which felt more sincere than anything I'd heard for weeks.

Which is pretty sad in a way.

But it still made me feel really wanted.

For the right reasons.

All we did was talk. Over dinner, coffee, drinks, at parties with friends, on walks and drives.

And a sweet little kiss goodnight and "let me know when you are in town again".

It will be nice for a while again.

Hard to even call it a "Love Life"

The tables have turned, and changed.

Mr. Just-wants-to-makeout-on-his-couch now wants me as a girlfriend and won't stop calling and emailing even after telling him "I don't want to hang out with anyone right now. I have a lot of shit going on." When I wanted to be his he had no interest but to get into my pants. Which of course insulted me. So now, I don't answer his calls. And he actually asks me to do stuff now I would really have liked to do before.

Mr. When-I-save-up-enough-$-I'm-moving-in-with-you is the absolute worst at communication. I haven't had even a text for 3 days now and counting. I've completely lost interest and am irritated at the thought of him now. How can someone REALLY think everything will just magically fall into place when they move away from their troubles. It is a grave error and a sure failure to any possible future relationship if he can't even call the person he claims to want to fall in love with.

Mr. Oh-meet-my-fiance must think he is just the king of the world, the smartest, sneakiest guy around. In reality he is a pathetic drunk continually embarrassing his unknowing fiance. He actually sent me an email asking me if he could stay with me for a week to "write his new album". What a jackass. Last time I saw him was a nightmare. I literally dodged him for hours. And when I couldn't he was pressed up next to me with his hand squeezing my hip or arm across my shoulder. And she, was sadly right there on the opposite side of him. Completely clueless. Poor girl.

Mr. Oh-meet-my-fiance also added a new degree of creepy when he tried to "put in a good word" for his friend. Who is a mutual friend of mine that I had no idea liked me like that.

Mr. Break-up-over-a-text-message seems to have a renewed interest in me all of the sudden and I have no idea why. I guess if you no longer have an interest or are still confident after being dumped it only makes some guys want you more later on. He actually tries to contact me now in ways he didn't before and asks me to hang out with him. And not just sit on the couch and watch a movie, but road trips. Big step for this guy.

Mr. Dancin-in-the-moonlight still sends me a text now and then. I sent him a text with a few days warning that I'd be in his town and didn't hear back. But then literally as I was walking to my car to leave he called. Which is unheard of, he only texts. He begged me to stay the night with him. And he was nearby, but had called to late. He talked about wanting to visit me and he may really want to be it is unlikely to happen. I had the chance to see him again recently but decided not to make the drive. But I have a feeling we'll meet again.

Mr. We-got-stuck-in-an-elevator doesn't call nearly as much these days. And that happens after time and distance. Always does to me anyway. But at least when he does call we still talk for hours. It is much more than for what I can say for most people that claim to really care for me. I really hope he found himself an awesome girl and isn't just working too much as usual. He's trying pretty hard to be a good person. I think he is one already even if he has his doubts.

Mr. New-guy-in-town is also my newest crush. He made me snap back into reality about sitting around waiting on calls night after night. And all he had to do was open his mouth. Communication, my absolute favorite thing. And really good, meaningful conversation at that...over coffee. Perfect. And he actually says stuff at the end of a text message like "How are you today?" Nobody ever seems to ask me first. So of course I think he's pretty genuine and a good hearted person.

Its always feast or famine in relations and personalities it seems.

Dancin In The Moonlight

I always love when someone you meet turns out to have a positive surprise to their personality that you just didn't see coming.

Like the quiet guy that could barely get up the nerve to ask me out for coffee. He turned out to be one the most surprisingly perverted sex fiends I have ever spoken to. Willing to do anything that I'd ever want to try and coming up with things even I never thought up. And at the same time, so interesting to talk to with a sweet, caring, and giving nature.

I spent one unforgettable evening with one such "surprise package" guy, on the rooftop of a local historical building.

We immediately had sparks when we caught glances across the room.

And over the course of an evening we figured out that we have many mutual friends and that we had quite likely met 10 or so years previous.

At first sight he came across as a real tough guy, except for the hair. Above the studded and patched vest, and mostly sleeved black tattooed arms... sat perfectly styled and dyed locks of hair. That still smelled like "hair product" after an evening in a smokey room.

We talked and flirted shamelessly. I kissed him on the cheek at the most unsuspecting moment in a roomful of mostly strangers. He blushed and right then I knew he was a good guy.

We started kissing to the surprise of both of us. A little kiss snuck in as quickly as the peck on his cheek.

But I couldn't stand stopping it at that. I walked away from the crowd and motioned him to follow hoping nobody saw. In a back alley we kissed and kissed. It was an awesome surprise for the evening.

When things were shutting down and we were being run out of the building, we both knew we wanted to hang out more. There were talks of after-parties. I insisted that he come with me and we'd meet up with his friends there.

After walking to my car we sat in it and talked for a while. Not a boring guy at all. Then I suggested we go for a walk instead of going to the pary. He was really excited about the notion and we walked hand in hand down the sidewalk.

I knew exactly what I had in mind. Exactly what I'd like us to do for the rest of our time together.

After a short walk we arrived at our destination. A historical building in a quiet suburban upper class neighborhood. I took his hand and lead him up the stairway to the rooftop. It had a balcony overlook onto fountains and gardens. And above was nothing my the moon and stars.

We laid down on our backs star gazing and talking.

He threw his studded vest over the only light up there and we could really see the stars then. Which of course soon after turned into a make out session of heavy petting.

I got up and leaned back on the railing and star gazed while we had sex, it was perfect. He was in awe that I had grabbed condoms out of my car thinking I was grabbing breath mints, haha

Then we held one another and had a slow dance, and he said the moment reminded him of Thin Lizzy's "Dancin in the Moonlight". And I will think of that night for the rest of my life every time I hear that song now.

Who know Mr. Metal would turn out to be a romantic guy.

Thin Lizzy - Dancin In The Moonlight:

When I passed you in the doorway
You took me with a glance
I should have took that last bus home
But I asked you for a dance

Now we go steady to the pictures
I always get chocolate stains on my pants
My father he's going crazy
Say's I'm living in a trance

But I'm dancing in the moonlight
It's caught me in its spotlight
It's alright, alright
Dancing in the moonlight
On the long hot summer night

It's three o'clock in the morning
And I'm on the streets again
I disobeyed another warning
I should have been in by ten

Now I won't get out until Sunday
I'll have to say I stayed with friends
But it's a habit worth forming
If it means to justify the end

Not one to trust.

I find it kind of odd that you chose to go through my private documents on my computer when I left you in my house alone.

You could ask me ANYTHING. But instead you preferred to be sneaky. I'm curious what you were looking for.

And on the same day you send another girl a message saying how bored you were. Ouch. You sure played it off like you were having the best days of your life with me.

Boy you are really racking up the "trust points".

No you don't rule, get over yourself.

It is one thing to have self love and another thing to really think "I'm the baddest motherfucker alive!"

When it comes down to it, guys like this are full of hot air...most of the time. I've yet to be proven wrong anyway.

Totally boring, no substance, can't keep a conversation going, bad kissers and even lacking in bed.

It blows my mind.

Where does someone get off REALLY thinking "I rule"?

I'm attracted to guys like this because I like someone that has good self esteem, a positive outlook on life, has great conversation skills, is outgoing, funny and friendly.

Well, I'm been know to completely misinterpret an egotistical know-it-all boring jerk for the above truly "awesome guy".

The same guy often is a music elitist. Completely closed minded and unable to accept that his favorite bands weren't "the original" to create a certain music genre/style. Won't even listen to CDs your burn for him. And will skip 15 songs on my iPod only to stop on one of his own songs. Oh please, get over yourself.

Then there is the talking up about sex acts. And always talking about it. Too much. To the point that it is insulting. As if I'm just a hole to fuck and have no feelings. When this happens I start to think the guy has too much testosterone and not enough brains and heart. And not someone I want to have a real relationship with.

Often times, this kinda guy can't even "perform" up to his own talked up standards when the lights go out. Or it lasts all of minutes if not seconds. Yawn. I could have more fun alone, and would prefer to.

Same kinda guy is often name dropping. You aren't who you know. When it comes down to it, that's so unimportant and tacky. So what, I know and have met a lot of people that may be considered celebrities in some circles. When it is just you and I, your list of who-you-know is going to get boring fast. I want to hear about the real you.

Then there is the guy that just thinks he is Mr. Awesome and can't figure out why I'm not calling him every day to hang out. But I can't figure out where he got this idea. When we hung out, all we do is watch tv at his house while he works on getting me naked. But when we hang out outside in the real world he seems completely bored to be with me. Ouch. Here's a hint, good conversation is a turn-on NOT shitty cable tv shows.

And who wants to date a guy that likes himself more than he likes you? He's usually got a couple girls on the back burner. And even after you are officially together for months you'll find him STILL chatting with girls online asking them for n00ds. Tacky.

I've met and dated far too many guys that are all talk. If you are going to talk your self up, live up to it. Otherwise, just be yourself and people will find out on their own.

The honeymoon is over before it ever really began.

It has been WEEKS since we've talked. Whatever the reason is not reason enough.

My favorite thing in the world may very well be good conversation. And so, I'm just not feeling it anymore.

It happens to also be a sure turn on for me. So understandably the lack of conversation is a turn off.

I can't have these texting only conversations anymore. I'm over it.

Our relationship has gone from a blazing flame of hopes for an exciting future to a smoldering pile of ashes of lost interest.

Good job, that was all you.

Is your Boyfriend Gay?

I keep seeing these "Is your Husband Gay?" survey ads.

Which makes me think it "How did they know?"

Although the question would actually be "Is your Boyfriend Gay?"

More than a few times now I've dated guys that are either:

A) Bi and I don't know it until later.

or

B) I think he is Bi or straight up gay and he doesn't know it.

One type of guy I'm attracted to is the androgynous one or at least a bit on the feminine side.

First time it happened to me was about 18 years ago. He looked real tough. Had a mohawk and wore combat boots every day. But his face was real pretty, like a model.

He was the REALLY sensitive one in the relationship. I'd find scribblings on paper where he'd write my name with his last name over and over. He's sneak notes into my school work and books saying how he missed me and asking me what I wanted for lunch when I came home from class. He even got a key to my apartment (without my permission) and would wake me for school and make me coffee. He was driving my roommate nuts being there ALL of the time.

He was always very adamant about how I could never give him a blow job. There has GOT to be something going on with any guy that passes up oral sex!

We ended up breaking up because he smothered me all the time and became obsessive with me. He cried. He often cried.

Months later I got an Xmas card in the mail from his father that asked if he had a girlfriend OR BOYFRIEND and a big light bulb came on in my brain.

"Oooooh, that explains a lot of things!"

More recently I dated a guy who had this same tough guy and pretty face thing going on. He rode a motor cycle and lived in the country. He worked incredibly hard manual labor all day on the private property of a local lawyer. Sometimes when he'd come home from work he'd strip down naked outside before coming in. It was damn sexy.

Things that makes me think he is gay:

• All the girls he dates are either very tomboyish or are outright on the homely side. Most of them look like efeminite boys.

• His best friend is an older gay man.

• His boss appears to be gay to me as well. And he is certainly his "do boy". I often wondered if something was going on with them. They even hung out outside of work and ran "errands" for him on weekends.

• When we had sex it was because I initiated it. And when it happened it lasted all of moments with no foreplay. He seemed very inexperienced in bed with a female.

• While I had the hardest time getting him to have sex with me, he had anal sex toys and lube in the drawer right next to his bed. Surprisingly, he didn't want to have anal sex with me.

• He also had leather chaps in one of his drawers. Really.

So yeah, I'm convinced he is gay although I think he is in denial of it. I imagine him getting married and coming out after he "finds himself" at the age of 45.

I need to learn to spot these kinds of guys to stop wasting my time on them.

Creepy Pervy Email Example

Just got this email, wtf? It is amazing that someone thinks this would actually work.

Your Therapy Session

Ok time for you to lay on the couch and for the session to start.

Your eyes are growing heavy....it is harder and harder to keep them open.......you feel tired and ready to rest.....your eyes are closing.....you are falling asleep......you are falling deeper and deeper into sleep. Your eyes are ... Read Morenow so heavy that you cannot open them. When I count to three you will be deep asleep and do exactly as I say. One........Two.........Three......now take off all your clothes! lol

Sorry I could not resist. But that fantasy could sure fire the imagination.

Wrong Side of the Bed

I woke up in a bad mood again for no reason at all. Probably something that happened in a dream.

Hate when that happens.

Last time I was in such a foul mood all day I tried to resolve it by masturbating.

It didn't really help.

It wasn't until later that night when I got properly laid that I was all smiles.

Sometimes it takes the real thing.